I currently have two doctors navigating me towards some priceless lifestyle advice.

First up is the Daily Mail’s dishy doc, who this week informed his readers that giving up alcohol for January will do you more harm than good. What a load of self-deluding drivel. Yet another rehashed, alarmist, new year article wheeled out during a slow news month.

Next is Dr Dukan steering me down January’s healthy eating path. One key difference being that this good doctor’s rocky, pothole-strewn road stipulates a period of abstinence.

Surprisingly, I know which of these quack’s advice I’m taking. Step forward the Dukan doc and his high protein, low carbohydrate diet. Is it easy? Is it hell. But as I’m on the cusp of losing at least one of my chins, I’m persevering.

Helpfully doc Dukan pushes the scare-mongering aside and deals with his no alcohol diet regime rationally. A dry January won’t give you a shiny new liver, but the benefits certainly begin with the ever-shrinking hangover blight of many a diet.

I was reminded of this only today when a dinner party invite pinged into my inbox from a spirited drinking buddy who is also embarking on a month of self-restraint. Dukan may have confiscated all traces of merriment from my life, but the words ‘tea, coffee and lettuce leaf’ were enough to restore what shreds of battered humour remain. Needless to say, I declined.

As ‘Dryathlon’ wannabes around the world solider on towards our next booze-free week, I say cheers to every one of you.